Incessant Chatterings of Yours Truly

While speaking to Diem about one of my coworkers:

Abel: She's really great at keeping conversations going. She switches topics a lot and it just keeps it rolling.
Diem: ... ...heee. She kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic it was really quite hypnotic.
Abel: Hah! Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't say that! I said she kept conversations going!
Diem: This is a case of what Abel said and what Diem understood.
Abel: Our relationship revolves around situations like this, doesn't it? I say something and your mind goes through its inner catalogue of movies and internet memes to try to find a sentence or a word or /something/ that might kind of sort of perhaps possibly relate to what I just said, and then your mind tries to re-explain the entire conversation to you, using said movie or meme.
Diem: Pretty much. 'This has three matching words!'
Abel: Clippy pops up or something.
Diem: 'I noticed you're trying to have a conversation! Does this help?' No, not really, but it's funny so I'm going to say it anyway.
Abel: 'I noticed you're trying to understand your girlfriend. Does this help?' No, but then again, nothing does, so let's try it.

A conversation via text:

Diem: I don't like "We Bought A Zoo". All the feeeeeeels!
Abel: Aw. Why did it make you sad?
Diem: FUCK YOU! That's why!
Abel: FINE! So's your face!
Diem: Code: There was the father-son mending relationship crap.
Abel: You really can only communicate your feelings through internet memes and movie quotes...
Diem:
Abel:

Pulling up to a stoplight, next to a car playing 'smack that', diem has the urge to race.
Abel: you...
Diem: hey they raced too! I'm kinda surprised too.
Abel: hum?
Diem: well they have a...uh...child...carrier.
Abel: a child carrier? Like a cat carrier?
Diem: carseat! That's it!
Abel: ...child carrier. Wow.

Diem: I refuse to conform to their version of idiocy! I have my own special blend that's to be applied topically, as needed.

Diem: So, I've been doing something really illegal.
Abel: More illegal than usual?
Diem: ...well...eehhh.
Abel: Okay. What's that?
Diem: I've been taking those long three hour drives for work, so I downloaded google reader on my phone and have been reading on my way out to Bullhead, AZ.
Abel: ... /what/?
Diem: Yeah. I'm about halfway through The Time Machine.
Abel: .../what!?/
Diem giggling.
Abel, aghast: ...You've been /reading/!? I'm so happy!

Asking of our dear gay advisor.

Diem: So, am I "turning" gay if I find a Nikki Minaj song catchy?
Dixon: No.
Diem: Oh, okay.
Dixon: It means you're turning super-gay.
Diem: Oh...okay. As long as I know.

Soul: Chex mix is a good war snack. So is ice cream.
Abel: this war brought to you by chex mix! Feel like oppressing a nation? Have some chex mix. It'll help you through that mid-war lull.
Soul: when the battle's done and you're surrounded by a pool of blood and gore and don't feel like cleaning it up, chex mix will give you the energy you need.

I love my housemates.

The Tyrean Civil War: brought to you by chex mix.