Incessant Chatterings of Yours Truly

After a satisfying meal of sweet and sour chicken at a local thai place, Toccoto and I were talking about neat cultural traditions and clothing.


Toccoto: my sister is always lamenting how cool saris are and how she can't wear one because she's white.

Abel: Perry's white.

Toccoto: yeah but she married an indian guy.

Abel: reminds me of that episode of scrubs where Elliot says 'gosh! I wish I was ethnic!!'

Toccoto: aw c'mon we have cool ethnic stuff.

Abel: like what?

Toccoto: well, we used to. Like christmas! But then everyone else took it from us and made it theirs too! They can have christmas but I can't have a quincenera because I'm not a 15 year old mexican girl!

Abel blink blink blink.

Toccoto: don't even get me started on barmitzvas...

A strange thing happens when I have sushi. An even stranger thing happens when I eat it around my friends. Largely because my friends are...not...normal. How could they be? I think that most of it has to do with the special combination of sleep deprivation, the fact that I tend to go there at about midnight and that generally when you get enough people into a tightly compact space like a tatami table, strange things happen.

I am also convinced that the yumyum sauce has narcotics in it.

This past evening, I had the kind fortune of having a good friend come back to town on a second vacation in a month to Las Vegas and we took her out to our favorite sushi place.

***Pause for shameless plug, here***
Osaka is amazing. Go there.
***Fin***

I honestly cannot even begin to tell you what in the name of creepy precious moments dolls was going on but there was just entirely too much energy, inappropriate racial/gender/gay jokes going on (usually the latter about Toccoto and his unrequited love for the 40-something year old busser who is awesome and half the reason we go there), I don't even know what was happening. At one point Diem pretended to do a line of sugar off a plate and...I don't even know.

After this encounter of madness, a half dozen japanese rhythm games at Gemini and a round of capri suns, we were taking Toccoto home and...well...it started innocently enough.

For those of you not in Vegas, everyone here lives in tiny gated communities. Well, if you're (un)lucky, there's a gate. We're not sure if they're meant to keep people out or keep them in, but that's another topic all together. Not every community has a generic visitor's passcode because they're ghetto. Toccoto's place has such a gate, where I have spent much, much time lurking outside of like a stalker, waiting for someone to drive in. Technically, they're supposed to have each person living there on the list where it calls there phone, but for some really, really obnoxious reason due to procrastination on someone's part, he is not on there and I feel awkward calling his roomate.

Either way, about 2 am we're driving him in.

I apologize ahead of time to the Epic Lexington Alexander, but I'm posting this with you in mind.


Toccoto: The other day I drove home and there were, like, six cars lined up waiting for someone to let them in.
Diem: Is that where you're an asshole and drive just to the other side of the gate, then block it until it shuts?
Toccoto: Are you kidding!? I don't want to get shot.
Diem: True, true. What you didn't know is that they were all robbers.
Toccoto: Whatever, man. They're not stealing my stuff. What would they take!? My beer?
Abel: They'd take your Fu--what's it called? Your contact juggling ball? The really goofy 'cool' name the marketting crew gave it?
Diem: Fushigi ball. I remember because it's like Fushigi Yuugi.
Abel swoons: Oooooooh. That's right.
Toccoto: Still haven't seen that.
Abel: BLASPHEMY! You need to watch it!
Toccoto: Old style anime's just don't do it for me.
Abel: You're watching it.
Toccoto: I can't even watch trigun anymore.
Abel: But it has /rape/!!!!!!!! <---I have to put this many exclamation points due to the sheer zeal that I had when saying that word. Children on Christmas morning aren't this excited.
Toccoto and Diem pause awkwardly. Then burst out laughing.
Toccoto: /That's/ your hook!? 'But it has rape'!? What kind of person do you think I am where that is your final argument to make it more alluring to me!?
Diem: He has a point. It's not that it's a great story or great characters, but because there's /rape/. You're convincing Toccoto, here, not Muse.
Abel bows her head sheepishly and plays with her fingers while the boys continue to laugh: Well, I mean...It's a beautiful love story, too, and--
Toccoto: And there's rape, apparently. Beautiful love story with rape.
Diem: I'm sorry but I need to tell Lexington about this. I have to. 'You'll never guess what she said to someone about Fushigi Yuugi.'
Abel: He'll disown me! You can't!
Diem: Finally! I found a way that you'll love me better! Buahahaha!
Toccoto: All thanks to rape.
Abel: Hey, hey, now! He /had/ to rape her! Because if he didn't rape her then she would have sex with the giant red bird god who wants virgins and then he'd lose and wouldn't get his free wishes...
Toccoto: Are you listening to yourself!?
Diem: Wow...
Abel: It makes complete sense within the context of the story, guys! Besides, you watch animes about naked girls who say 'mew' and pee themselves and then kill people with invisible hands!
Toccoto: Makes sense to me.
Abel: ...It's from japan!
Diem: Fair.


There you go, kids. Watch Fushigi Yuugi; it has rape.

Again, I'm sorry, Lex. I was under the influence of sushi and ddr.

Honestly, now that I think back on it, I think that that came to mind so quickly because it was such a powerful scene wherein the main antagonist is this seriously badass blond, powerful, stony general who relentlessly psychologically tortures and brainwashes the main protagonists' best friend and he meets with the protagonist in his tent. With our protagonist being some 15 year old schoolgirl, naturally, who has to save the world but struggles with her own naivete and kind-heartedness, Nakago (protagonist badass of intensity) is dressed down all casually there's a line about 'A soldier has taken off his armor and is waiting here for you. Now why don't you show him a good time?' And that moment is so incredibly menacing and powerful that it has permanently imprinted itself on me. The guy basically seduces every other woman in the show at some point or another, and is damn good at it.

...I think I've actually subconsciously stolen a few of his lines in the past in rp, now that I think of it. Damn.


Watch anime, kids. It's good for you.

A good number of our friends have decided to take up running. Something about health and fitness...I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. But there is a set of friends who are doing a lot of races and whatnot, and in order to 'pay' for my going to gather (because I am po' folk and couldn't logically okay paying 100 dollars to hang out at a friend house for a weekend) diem and I are watching their children.

Some of you may not be aware of this, but now, when you pick up a child from school, you must have a placard with their name and teacher name on your car. Its a little like ordering food and having a number on your table.

You ordered the Billy Smith? Okay. Here you are.
Here's how that conversation went.

Diem: we need the plaquard because everyone lines up outside of the school in their cars and the teachers look at the plaquard and bring your kid out.
Abel: ...so...they all line up, like at mcdonalds?
Diem: yep. 'I'd like one small child please?'
Abel: one small child, hold the Y chromosome. Could you make it white meat?
Diem: oh shit...
Abel: hah. Hah. I'd like they girl toy please.
Diem: wow. Hold the homework, please.

So, we're now sitting in the lamb of god drive through, waiting to be served. Its like coat check for kids, really. Drop them off, show your ticket stub and get them back.

Exhausting. Exhilerating. Gather has come and gone for another year and I am beyond tired, but extremely happy to have seen some of my favorite people and spend too much time dressing up and playing pretend.

That being said, this is something I can share with you lot that won't confuse you due to being full of game lingo.

Toccoto sits in Thrus's chair.
Thrus: ...you stole my chair!
Toccoto: well, it -is- columbus day.

Short and sweet. Good night world.

By now, most of the world has accepted this as a great truth of the universe; you can find almost anything on facebook and become a 'fan' of it or somehow 'like', 'follow', 'stalk' or whatever new terminology they're using for creepily being a voyeur of something via the internet.

Really. Almost anything.

I typed in 'rock' the other day and came up with the following pages that you can 'like':

'i kick a rock when walking, and keep on kicking the same one untill i miss' - 41,161 people like this. Even with the lack of capitalization that makes my eyes bleed.

'I go out of my way to kick a rock down the street for as long as i can(:' - 198, 759 people like this. They're also very redundant and do those annoying backwards smiles that creep me out.

'I Go Out Of My Way To Kick A Rock As I'm Walking' - 129,529 people like this. They also abuse capitalization as I do and are probably trying to make up for people who write things like the first example on this list.

'Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a rock' - 169,063 people like this. And should probably seek anger management.

'Spongebob Can't Lift A Couple Teddy Bears, But Can Lift Patrick's Rock?' - 45,227 people like this. They also have trouble suspending disbelief for a children's cartoon that features a talking seasponge in pants. They probably also thought Inception was 'too unrealistic to be good'.

'Pssh!...Bedrock?...You couldnt even make a chair rock let alone MY Bed!' - 63,402 people like this. They also probably thought it was witty and should probably have their sex organs taken away.


So, as this list illustrates, you can 'like' almost anything on facebook these days. Multiple times, as a matter of fact.


This is the thought that came to mind this evening after I finished telling Diem my day and we realized that I haven't really eaten anything except for some amazing fries at Create a Burger.

Seriously. Amazing fries.


Abel: Thank you for making me mac and cheese.
Diem: You're welcome. I am a fan of you eating.
Abel: ... ... ... I wonder if I made a page called '"Abel" eating', how many people would like it.
Diem: Well, I would. So that's one.


Oddly enough, I think that it would get quite a few. I recognize that my name, and the unusual spelling of it (not Abel, but my normal nickname), may limit the numbers a bit, but I really think that it would do pretty well. And not just in my group of people, either.

I may have to do this as a social experiment. Hm.

It was a work day at the house, and G.S. Was making a quilt and putting the interfacing on the fabric while Diem and I were trying to refit the wine fridge into the wall.

G.S.: mmmm efficiency. Finding the most efficient way to put the interfacing on is great. Take it! Take it and like it.

Diem & Abel stop and stare.

G.S.: yes, efficiency makes me hot.

Abel: that's good to know. If you ever get a boyfriend, I can give him tips. He has to be a German guy, though. Efficiency and all.

G.S.: we already know I like the big, blonde, beefy guys. This could work! Which is why we're going to Oktoberfest! Big, beefy, blonde, efficient Germen men. Mmmm. Plus! Potatos!!

Abel & Diem crack up.

Abel: big, beefy, blonde men, plus potatos. That's one hell of a combination.

I have been playing pokemon white lately. Obsessively. Until four in the morning.
We also sleep in a loft bed about five feet off the ground.
This was Diem's dialogue while trying to wake me up.

ABEL is ASLEEP!
DIEM uses TOSS!
It is SUPER EFFECTIVE!
DIEM is SINGLE...

We went to the theater with our housemate and friend, who had just gone to see the Lion King 3D the night before. Let's not point out the movie addict warning signs, but instead move on in the conversation.

G.S.: Belle was my favorite because she liked to read.
Diem: Aladdin was my favorite.
Abel: no, Jasmine was your favorite.
Girl: What? Not Pocahontas?
G.S.: To be fair, if the title character is a boy, he's an animal. Aladdin is the only exception.
Diem: Well, he was a 'street rat'.
Girl: She has a point, though. The lion king was a boy and a lion.
G.S.: Bambi. Boy. Deer.
Abel: Fox and the hound, both boys. Even robin hood! They turned him into a fox!
G.S.: Its true. Disney loves the princesses.
Diem: No, they just hate men.

Much to our chagrin, in spite of all our efforts to catproof the backyard made necessarily by a dog door and the general laziness of everyone in our household and the insanity of the dogs and cats (of which there are 8 in total)...*inhale deep* ... we had a jailbreak.

Our roomate's very, very athletic bengal cat, William, made it past the fences and the precautions we built on it. So, two days of blocking the dog door and dealing with the animals, we have decided to build a nice little gazebo in the back yard to trap him inside.

But naturally there are no 9'8" by 20' gazebos, so we've acquired a 9'10" square one and have been trying to alter it.

Cue hijinks.



Diem assembling the gazebo's framework.
Abel: How do those nuts taste in your mouth?
Diem: They're better than others I've tasted.
Abel: I know you've been complaining about the taste of some nuts in your mouth, before.
Diem: Yeah, I've stuck a lot of things in my mouth during this project. These aren't terrible. Some of the best tasting nuts I've encountered, yet!

We've been catching up on Haven and I can't get over this confliction of loving and hating Duke and Nathan. Especially with all the things happening in this season.

Abel: I'd bet there's Nathan-Duke slash.
Diem: ... ... ... ...!?!?!?!?!
Abel clickity clicks on the intarwebs. Spins her laptop around: Found it!
Diem: ... ... ... ...!?!?!?!?!
Abel: Aw, this one's listed under 'First Kiss'.
Diem: ... ... ... ...
Abel laughs: "He'd spent the better part of twenty-five years acting as if he'd wished Duke were dead but now..." Wow...
Diem: ...I really hate you right now.
Abel: This one is 'Comfort Sex'!
Diem: ...I really, /really/ hate you.


Yes. All I did was type in 'Duke Crocker Nathan' and already google had pulled up a link that was full of slash stories.

Enjoy!

Radio was talking about the TV schedule and mentioned the season premier of 90210.

Diem: 90210? Really?
Abel: I know, I'm confused.
Diem: 90210, The Later Years.
Abel: that's one sad group, there.
Diem: I thought they already had a show for that. You know, Desperate Housewives?

**2005**
Addy: where's Mr. White Shirt?
Abel: Mr. White Shirt?
Addy: Yeah, Josh. I've never seen him in anything but a white shirt.
Abel & Lexington laugh madly.

**2011**
Abel: There's some crazy plants in the desert. Yukka, cactus, joshua trees.
Lexington: Joshua trees? What do they look like? Do they have white shirts?
Abel busts up laughing: I have missed you!

Sionkou: What's one below an octagon?
Diem: A septagon?
Sionkou: Deceptagon?
Abel: Polygons in disguise!

Visi0n: Diem this isn't mythbusters
Diem: Why not?
Visi0n: Cuz your not a host
Diem: I can be a host, I can inject myself with tons of bacteria

While watching the song 'be our guest' from disney's beauty and the beast.

Diem: So...in beauty and the beast, all the silverwear and stuff were once people, right? So. When they turn back, do they have to get all new stuff?
Abel: ...
Diem: or worse, are the beds people, too? So when you pull back the sheets, you're peeling back their skin!? 'Yeah, use your body to keep me warm!' Like a damn tauntaun or something!?
Abel: well, either that or the sheets are people, too, and its one really sick orgy.
Diem: ... ...that's a lot of forks. How many servants does this guy have!?
Abel: right, because that's the most concerning thing we've discussed in this situation...

Sitting around the fire with people:

Reed: no, you can't play Friends With Words on facebook. You can like it.
Diem: you can like anything on facebook. *points* You could 'like' that specific rock, right there!

While installing drywall:

Diem: ick. These are the worst tasting drywall screws I have ever tasted.
Abel: ...well you don't hear that every day.
Diem: its true, though...
Abel: did you expect them to taste good?
Diem: no. But I've stuck a lot of screws and nails in my mouth, and these are the worst.
Abel grin.: ... ...
Diem: yeah, I know.
Abel: there's your next multi million dollar idea: nacho cheese flavored drywall screws. Contractors will love those.
Diem: there we go. My slogan could be 'when you know it's going in your mouth, eventually'.
Abel laughs: well, you'll certainly catch some eyes...
Diem: I know! And? It can work for other product lines, too!
Abel: your craftiness scares and intrigues me.

Abel: whoo. You shut up so I got to catch up with the blog.
Diem: ... ... ... *looks at abel* ... *look* ... *look* ... Penguins are assassins.
Abel: *stare*
Diem: *shrug* just trying to think of something random.
Abel: you're a jackass.
Diem: yep! Well because, you see...the tuxes, assassins? Yeah? So, did you know they're the ones who watch after santa's place? Yeah. They're all 'cute and cuddle boys!'--thats where that movie gets it from!--then you get too close and *slitting sound*
Abel: so its not the elves you look out for. Its the penguins.
Diem: *stares* ...elves have work to do! Bake me cookies!- *squeeky voice* Ah! Wrong elf! I make toys! - *menacing voice* you will /learn/! Apron! Work!
Abel: *abe's oddworld voice* Work!
Diem: yeah!
Abel: ohhhhh...oddworld is when santa's shop is like centuries down the road.
Diem: ooohhh...that's depressing.
*long pause of depressed silence*
Diem: you know, if I were them, I'd just kill every kid named 'abe'. Then people stop naming their kids abe and we're all good.
Abel: gee, I bet they wouldve thought about that with jesus. Though the egyptians didn't have much luck with the 'child killing' bit.
Diem: nah its fine. 'Hey how's it going, this is my baby, jesus!' Kill! Done.
Abel: ...ahhhh maybe I'll name my kid 'Bob'.
Diem: That's right you will.

Diem reading billboards, "'Hellen Keller was blind to everything except the possibilities.' ... ... That's because she couldn't see Reality staring her right in the face going '...uh huh...'."

Diem:"Hey look! Bridges of madison county! Welcome to iowa! See our bridges! Heck no, stay home and watch the movie..."
Abel: "save yourself the trip?"
Diem: "yep. Just watch the documentary. Wait, didn't they try to turn it into a love movie?"
Abel: "yes."
Diem: "what the heck!? No! I want a documentary! None of this romance stuff! ...that's how they ruined Titanic."
Abel: laughs. "Because its such an inspirational story by itself..."
Diem: "yeah it is! A ship they said couldn't be sunk, and one captain determined to prove them all wrong!!!"