Incessant Chatterings of Yours Truly

A strange thing happens when I have sushi. An even stranger thing happens when I eat it around my friends. Largely because my friends are...not...normal. How could they be? I think that most of it has to do with the special combination of sleep deprivation, the fact that I tend to go there at about midnight and that generally when you get enough people into a tightly compact space like a tatami table, strange things happen.

I am also convinced that the yumyum sauce has narcotics in it.

This past evening, I had the kind fortune of having a good friend come back to town on a second vacation in a month to Las Vegas and we took her out to our favorite sushi place.

***Pause for shameless plug, here***
Osaka is amazing. Go there.
***Fin***

I honestly cannot even begin to tell you what in the name of creepy precious moments dolls was going on but there was just entirely too much energy, inappropriate racial/gender/gay jokes going on (usually the latter about Toccoto and his unrequited love for the 40-something year old busser who is awesome and half the reason we go there), I don't even know what was happening. At one point Diem pretended to do a line of sugar off a plate and...I don't even know.

After this encounter of madness, a half dozen japanese rhythm games at Gemini and a round of capri suns, we were taking Toccoto home and...well...it started innocently enough.

For those of you not in Vegas, everyone here lives in tiny gated communities. Well, if you're (un)lucky, there's a gate. We're not sure if they're meant to keep people out or keep them in, but that's another topic all together. Not every community has a generic visitor's passcode because they're ghetto. Toccoto's place has such a gate, where I have spent much, much time lurking outside of like a stalker, waiting for someone to drive in. Technically, they're supposed to have each person living there on the list where it calls there phone, but for some really, really obnoxious reason due to procrastination on someone's part, he is not on there and I feel awkward calling his roomate.

Either way, about 2 am we're driving him in.

I apologize ahead of time to the Epic Lexington Alexander, but I'm posting this with you in mind.


Toccoto: The other day I drove home and there were, like, six cars lined up waiting for someone to let them in.
Diem: Is that where you're an asshole and drive just to the other side of the gate, then block it until it shuts?
Toccoto: Are you kidding!? I don't want to get shot.
Diem: True, true. What you didn't know is that they were all robbers.
Toccoto: Whatever, man. They're not stealing my stuff. What would they take!? My beer?
Abel: They'd take your Fu--what's it called? Your contact juggling ball? The really goofy 'cool' name the marketting crew gave it?
Diem: Fushigi ball. I remember because it's like Fushigi Yuugi.
Abel swoons: Oooooooh. That's right.
Toccoto: Still haven't seen that.
Abel: BLASPHEMY! You need to watch it!
Toccoto: Old style anime's just don't do it for me.
Abel: You're watching it.
Toccoto: I can't even watch trigun anymore.
Abel: But it has /rape/!!!!!!!! <---I have to put this many exclamation points due to the sheer zeal that I had when saying that word. Children on Christmas morning aren't this excited.
Toccoto and Diem pause awkwardly. Then burst out laughing.
Toccoto: /That's/ your hook!? 'But it has rape'!? What kind of person do you think I am where that is your final argument to make it more alluring to me!?
Diem: He has a point. It's not that it's a great story or great characters, but because there's /rape/. You're convincing Toccoto, here, not Muse.
Abel bows her head sheepishly and plays with her fingers while the boys continue to laugh: Well, I mean...It's a beautiful love story, too, and--
Toccoto: And there's rape, apparently. Beautiful love story with rape.
Diem: I'm sorry but I need to tell Lexington about this. I have to. 'You'll never guess what she said to someone about Fushigi Yuugi.'
Abel: He'll disown me! You can't!
Diem: Finally! I found a way that you'll love me better! Buahahaha!
Toccoto: All thanks to rape.
Abel: Hey, hey, now! He /had/ to rape her! Because if he didn't rape her then she would have sex with the giant red bird god who wants virgins and then he'd lose and wouldn't get his free wishes...
Toccoto: Are you listening to yourself!?
Diem: Wow...
Abel: It makes complete sense within the context of the story, guys! Besides, you watch animes about naked girls who say 'mew' and pee themselves and then kill people with invisible hands!
Toccoto: Makes sense to me.
Abel: ...It's from japan!
Diem: Fair.


There you go, kids. Watch Fushigi Yuugi; it has rape.

Again, I'm sorry, Lex. I was under the influence of sushi and ddr.

Honestly, now that I think back on it, I think that that came to mind so quickly because it was such a powerful scene wherein the main antagonist is this seriously badass blond, powerful, stony general who relentlessly psychologically tortures and brainwashes the main protagonists' best friend and he meets with the protagonist in his tent. With our protagonist being some 15 year old schoolgirl, naturally, who has to save the world but struggles with her own naivete and kind-heartedness, Nakago (protagonist badass of intensity) is dressed down all casually there's a line about 'A soldier has taken off his armor and is waiting here for you. Now why don't you show him a good time?' And that moment is so incredibly menacing and powerful that it has permanently imprinted itself on me. The guy basically seduces every other woman in the show at some point or another, and is damn good at it.

...I think I've actually subconsciously stolen a few of his lines in the past in rp, now that I think of it. Damn.


Watch anime, kids. It's good for you.

Much to our chagrin, in spite of all our efforts to catproof the backyard made necessarily by a dog door and the general laziness of everyone in our household and the insanity of the dogs and cats (of which there are 8 in total)...*inhale deep* ... we had a jailbreak.

Our roomate's very, very athletic bengal cat, William, made it past the fences and the precautions we built on it. So, two days of blocking the dog door and dealing with the animals, we have decided to build a nice little gazebo in the back yard to trap him inside.

But naturally there are no 9'8" by 20' gazebos, so we've acquired a 9'10" square one and have been trying to alter it.

Cue hijinks.



Diem assembling the gazebo's framework.
Abel: How do those nuts taste in your mouth?
Diem: They're better than others I've tasted.
Abel: I know you've been complaining about the taste of some nuts in your mouth, before.
Diem: Yeah, I've stuck a lot of things in my mouth during this project. These aren't terrible. Some of the best tasting nuts I've encountered, yet!

Diem: if david bowie told you to strangle a puppy, would you?
Abel: yes.
Diem: if david bowie told you to strangle a puppy while sucking his cock, would you?
Abel: ... ... ... Very possibly.

I have decided that I'm going to be a webcam girl.

Okay, I'm joking, you caught me. But /STILL/, you have to admit there is something just strange about that whole underbelly world.

I remember being a kid and watching "Girl 6" and being completely, ridiculously intrigued. What makes it so taboo? Maybe it's because it is a taboo that makes me look at it twice. People like to pretend it doesn't exist. That human sexuality doesn't exist. Yes, with people getting so wound up about sexuality and preferences and such lately, I can see a little bit of sensitivity on the matter, and yes, what happens in the bedroom is a private ordeal but what is it about selling sex makes us so uncomfortable?

Maybe that's what intrigues me about it. just people's reactions. And I find, as I get older, things that seemed so outrageous and embarrassing and weird and taboo...really don't seem to be that big of a deal anymore.

I digress a bit.

Phone sex isn't anything new. No more than strip clubs, naughty picture shows and burlesque. But the evolution is amazing. And it's something that is always here, will always be here and conforms to the years and the trends. We've seen the evolution of sex and technology, and I'm not just talking about vibrators, here. Entire websites based off of porn. Movies, live web shows, pictures, you name the fetish they have it. I once found a website that told a person how to have sex with a bottle-nosed dolphin. In fact... *pause* Here it is.

No, I don't remember how I found it, but it was maybe six years ago now. The site was made in 1996. It's wild. And that fucker better thank me for the hits he's about to receive. Yes, thank you for scarring me as a 'child'. Feel my love.

Not that dolphin sex or zoophilia is anything new that's suddenly come up with the technology era. Though I am saying that you can find websites out there for anything. Technology has liberated the sex lives of so many people (Except the amish of course. SUCKS TO BE YOU!). It's astounding to think of what's developed thanks to technology.

It makes me think about all those kinks that maybe never would have been invented if someone didn't burn themselves out looking at eastern asian young pre-op male to female transgendered folks shitting on the faces of old goats while masturbating and ejaculating onto the chests of some scottish middle-aged pregnant woman.

I mean. Where do you go from there?

Futhermore, now with our phones basically becoming tiny, cancer causing computers we stick up to our heads, we have sex lines that are through text only.

Yes, sex text.

I know this because I applied for such a job. And on my application, I literally wrote "This is mostly because of morbid curiosity. Mostly. The other parts would be because I am literate, I have free text messages, am up during prime masturbatory hours and I know enough sex lingo and have read enough Anne Rice erotica that I could make Ron Jeremy blush."

Yeah, I don't expect them to call me, either. But I'll let you know how that goes.

Technology is an amazing thing when linked with our primal needs. Especially primal needs we've learned to be ashamed of.

And so, with the sex industry in mind, here are some adult sites. Perv.

Adam & Eve, Cyber Nooky, Sex Stories Post, Literotica, A Sex Stories (Which still bothers me as a name considering the singular and plural), Eden Fantasys.