Incessant Chatterings of Yours Truly

Diem was talking about one of my coworkers as he drove away, because he was holding his wrist in a very feminine manner.

 Diem: "What, does he have a broken wrist or something? I can't even get my wrist to tilt at that angle!"
 Abel: "He's a little teapot...I'm a little teapot, put it in my butt."
 Diem: "I'm a little teapot, I like tea bags...put your balls in my mouth. No more metaphors, just do it. Awl-lauwl-lauwl-lauwl..."
Abel: "Yes. That is exactly how that goes."

Diem: you know what freaks me out about utah?
Abel: hum?
Diem: they're obsessed with appearances. Everything is very clean and perfect and well done.
Abel: okay.
Diem: and you know who else gives off that well pressed aristocratic vibe?
Abel: ?
Diem: vampires. Right before they attack you.
Abel: !!!
Diem: its true!
Abel: so...utah is run by vampires.
Diem: yes
Abel: I thought it was run by mormons.
Diem: exactly!
Abel: so...vampires are mormons?
Diem: yes.
Abel: right. And leprocauns are gay jews
Diem: now you're getting it! They go around, trying to change people.
Abel: that's why they go door to door, right? Because they're hoping to be invited in, since they can't cross your threshold.
Diem: yes!! The only thing is, I have to figure out how they get around in the sun...
Abel: ... ... Spf 150
Diem: there you go!
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