Incessant Chatterings of Yours Truly

What you learn from drunken theater chatter:
*Sean connery is low brow
*He was also a mr universe competitor
*he is also M.R., which stands for mentally retarded.
*did you see the new shrek?
*harry potter is for queers
*there are 5 harry potter films and they all suck
*did you see the new shrek?
*ashton kutcher must've blown someone to get his biochem major
*miley cyrus thinks her mom is hot, and she's insecure about it
*did you see the new shrek?

Andie: we're just seeing the sorcerers apprentice because of diems man crush on nick cage.
Diem: yeah, but who /doesnt?/ when I heard him say 'I could eat a peach for hours' I was /done/.

Diem: I put the STD in 'stud', all I need is 'u'.
Abel: ...awesome. And disturbing.

I feel...so familiar right now. So much self loathing....I haven't hated myself like this in a long time. But I do. I hate myself right now. Truly in the pit of my belly, hate. I don't want to kill myself, but I honestly feel as if the world would be better without me in it. My existance is entirely pointless. Just another mouth. Andother carbon print. I hurt...so many people that I love. They hate me. I am stupid. I am dumb. I am...everything he says I am. I am a horrible person.

To find our cat, sila, we went to my friends fathers farm. There were something like three litters of black cats.
Upon picking a cat, we found this one with protuding boobies. It obviously had a litter recently. Diem rejected her souly for that visual reason.

Diem: it wasn't just the boob, it was the nipples! They were huge. I expected some weird tentacle hentai porn to happen. Like...*sound effect, wiggles fingers* it was for our safety. It was octopussy!

Diem: I want a house.
Abel: I know.
Diem: I want a house, so I can buy a deep freeze, so I can put half a cow in it.
Abel: ...that's your master plan, huh?
Diem: yep.
Brian: wait, what?
Abel: that's his master plan.
Diem: yeah. Get a house. Get a deep freezer. Get half a cow. Put it in there.
Brian abel: ..*shrug* kay.

Watching Diem pick tomatoes off his omlette, just to put salsa back on it:
Abel: you're so goofy.
Diem: Why? There's a difference. These tomatoes are alive and kicking, these ones are dead.
Abel: *laughs* what? Is that a technical term?
Diem: no, but there's a difference!
Abel: uh huh...
Diem: yeah, like ketchup. That stuff is /dead/. Its /not/ comin' back.
Abel: ...*laughs*

Abel: I had a dream about bombs and ninjas and ninja zombies and asian bikers and--
Diem: --lots of pot!?
Abel: *laughs*
Diem: seriously, no more busting into that stash right before bed.

I had a dream that someone sent a bomb to gather, & di defused it, but when it didn't blow, these weird asian biker guys in white came in & killed everyone, but they missed Arwyn and I.
We followed them into this square cul-de-sac down an alley with five doors in it. We snuck over to a door to see if we could peek in, & it swung open, & all these ninjas in blue robes came out. We told them what happened, and they rallied two of the other apparent 'clans' in the square (red and green) to bust in on a fourth door and kick ass.
Well...turned out it was the wrong door (black), and the ninjas in white came out the fifth & flanked our buddies & started killing them.
Some really old dude from the red door came out & talked to us, & ressurected some of our buddies, then died.
Then a dude in white made a ton of zombies out of the others, so we ran around slicing and dicing zombie ninjas with huge swords.

After discussing how diem nearly lost an ear at work:

Abel: I'd stay with you if you lost an ear.
Diem: ..well, thank you.
Abel: Yeah, its just a little piece.
Diem: *long thoughtful pause* I think my biggest concern would be sunglasses.
Abel: sunglasses.
Diem: yeah. Would I have to get tinted contacts or something?
Abel: I would think as long as you had a stub left, you'd be fine.
Toccoto: whatre we talking about?
Abel: if diem lost his ear, how hed wear sunglasses.
Toccoto: you could just tape it.
Diem: itd get in the hair, then.
Abel: you could just cut one off a rat's back and staple it on to support it.
Toccoto: or take a Mr. Potato Head ear and jam it in there.
Diem & Abel: *stop and exchange glances*
Abel: thatd work.