Incessant Chatterings of Yours Truly

I have slowly been coming to terms with the fact that I am a cartoon character.
I wear the same set of clothes for days (weeks) on end, my hair changes dramatically for no reason, I have crazy adventures, I have an arch nemesis, irrational quirks and nuerosis, I don't age, and my friends are ridiculous enough that you would think nobody like that really exists.
These are the main points that lead me to believe that I am indeed a cartoon being written for someone elses enjoyment. But with nudity and lots of cursing. And long stretches of boredom.
I require a talking animal.